The Woes of Homeschooling

I have always said I wasn’t cut-out to be a homeschooling mama… and to be honest, I’ve felt inadequate since the beginning. Put me in a chaotic office and I can run it. Give me a project with a fast-approaching deadline and I’ll nail it. Show me a picture of a craft with no instructions and I’ll recreate it. But teaching?! (insert smacking forehead here) I just can’t seem to pull it together. Thus, my tales of the woes of homeschooling ensue.

Back in the Day…

My mom homeschooled nine of us like a rock star. We were awake, dressed and at the kitchen table for breakfast by 7:30AM. We made our beds every morning, and emptied our hampers when they were full. Tuesdays and Fridays were chore days, and we each had our list of what to do. Our lesson plans were laid out for us at the beginning of each week, and we could work ahead if we wanted a free day. We even did school through the summers! My sister-in-laws seem to follow in her footsteps, with organization and clean houses. But ME?! Every year I wonder why I’m even trying to do this… scratch that… I wonder that at least once a week.

My Conundrum

My son is doing some pre-school work now and my daughter is about to start second grade. Last week, I sat on the carpet with piles of books around me and tried to fight back tears. I felt like I failed at teaching first grade because we didn’t get through all the read-aloud subjects I was supposed to do with her. Granted, she’s ahead in math and reading for her age… but I still felt like a failure for not finishing all the assigned reading. And the list for second grade was even bigger than the previous year. It was an overwhelming schedule and I felt like some of the core subjects she needed were not getting enough attention. I was dreading it and I already knew I wouldn’t be able to keep up.

My Decision

I made the decision, after a lot of guilt back and forth, to switch her curriculum completely. And then I panicked. Money has been really tight for the last few months and I needed $147 worth of books. I did my online shopping, added everything to my cart, then minimized the window. I vented to my mom and she encouraged me. But, it came down to the $147 I needed for books. So I waited… and prayed that our tax return would show up in our account that day, though it wasn’t supposed to come for another week still.

My Answered Prayer

I had just finished a graphic project for my sister-in-law and she texted to ask what my costs were. I responded with $35 and a few minutes later, my phone alerted me that I received a PayPal payment. When I opened the alert my jaw hit the floor… it was $150! I did an instant transfer from my PayPal and after the fee, $147.75 hit my bank account. I instantly started crying like a baby as I ordered the books and texted my mom and sister-in-law to let them know that God had answered my prayer! My sis responded that she kept hearing that dollar amount and was so happy with how it worked out!

So now, I’m ready to tackle second grade… and I’m excited! I know I can keep up with this curriculum and I know the core subjects will be thorough. A lot of moms have told me that I have to find what’s right for me and what fits with our schedule and lifestyle. I’m so glad I finally listened… and blessed and humbled by how God provided and gave me a little pat on the back as if to let me know it’s all going to be ok.