A Learning Moment
Sometimes a learning moment can be a really tough one… for moms! My daughter lost her bracelet tonight. We had just made it and was so proud of it as she showed it off to her aunts. She took it off, “So it wouldn’t get messy while I’m eating,” and then forgot it. I went back into the restaurant as my teary-eyed 6 year old sat in the car. I questioned the waitress and even got down on the floor to look for it. But… No luck. The bracelet was gone. I told her we could make another one but she said, “That’s just not possible, Mom! That was the only charm I had like that… the golden flower with a pearl in the middle,” as she started sobbing. Earlier, I had cleaned out some old jewelry making supplies and gave her a handful of charms I wouldn’t use. Unfortunately, they were very old and I knew it would be impossible to find one just like it in a store.
We got home from the restaurant and she finally burst into tears, squeezing me tightly as her little body shook with sobs. She was grieving. Grieving the loss of something she planned, something she created, something she could never replace, something she envisioned being with her in her future. It struck a deep cord. I was instantly taken back to a time when nothing that I did mattered to change the outcome of the situation. IT JUST WAS. The future suddenly five-million shades of grey that was unnavigable. But, I still didn’t have the words to comfort her. I told her it was ok and that each day will get a little bit easier. Why was that all I had to offer her? I could see in her eyes a pain that mirrored my own experiences… but there were no other words to ease her sadness. There was nothing I could do. As a parent, one of the hardest things for me is seeing one of my children hurting. But even worse than that is not being able to comfort them through it.
We did a lot of talking, a lot of hugging and a lot of crying… Then we said our prayers and I tucked her in bed.
I heard her crying and moaning after I left the room. My heart broke for her. She was alone in her sadness… and yet, she wasn’t alone. I knew better than anyone what it was to lose something that you wanted to keep forever. She said she shouldn’t make bracelets ever again because she loses them. She said she didn’t deserve to have any more bracelets. Oh.My.Dear.Child… you don’t even know how much I understand this pain! And yet all I could say was, “It’s going to be ok.” I went to bed feeling like a I failed her.
The next day, I took her out to hunt for a charm that would bring a smile to her sad, little face. I prepped her so that she wouldn’t expect to find the same one. She was still so distraught over it. As I’m driving, I hear that little voice say, “Tell her to check her pockets.” So I looked in the rearview mirror and said, “You know, you should probably check your coat pockets, just to make sure.” Her face instantly lit up as she said, “You’re right! I DID put it in my pocket!” But, then came out empty handed. Ok, so maybe I’m just hearing things now and maybe I’m going crazy. About five minutes later I told her to check them again… nothing. Well, what the heck did I do that for?!
We got out of the car at the UPS store and got in the long line. She was STILL talking about the bracelet. By this point, I had used every mom-tactic in the book to distract her and nothing worked to cheer her up. A depressed six year old is one of the saddest things ever! As she’s in the middle of the sentence, I hear that little voice again, “Check her pockets.” So I immediately stoop down and shove my hand in her coat pocket… and there it is! She got so excited she started jumping up and down and giggling like a little weirdo! The morning was instantly transformed and she went through the day giggling and smiling at everyone. We stopped for a quick lunch at her favorite noodle place and who could have guessed… she took that bracelet off and set it on the table, “just so it won’t get messy!” We just never learn!
